Stepping Outside of Your Designated Identity

There are periods in time when we personally go through what could be perhaps a mini crisis.  I’m not talking about being my age (42) and dating a 23 year old, buying a convertible and taking scuba lessons in a speedo.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I’ve been feeling, well, frumpy.  Un-sexy.  A little blah.  Not in my self-esteem or confidence, not in the way I dress or act.  I’m still me, but on the inside I was just ready for a change.  Moving, added job, added training.  More everything made me feel a little off.  Since I’m a woman this generally means a couple things will happen.  Shopping.  I can’t afford to go crazy, but I did fill in the gaps a little.  There’s no such thing as too much BodyRock Sport!!  Makeup.  I do my makeup the same pretty much since the dawn of freaking time.  But I got rid of some crap and added a new lipstick.  Of course.  Shoes.  I had a list of shoes I’d gotten rid of a few months ago because – quite frankly – if you’re trying to save them with shoe goo and super glue it’s time to send them on their way.  It was dumb luck that I finally found a couple of them.  I’ve been on a crusade for a few months now.  Hair.  Well, this is one of my specialties.  I regularly tell people to “just go for it!” but I’m a closet chicken.  A couple weeks ago my daughter Kezia wanted her head shaved.  While looking at pictures for her I found one I loved……  That got me thinking.  Why not?

So I showed my coworkers who instantly wanted to do it RIGHT NOW.  I panicked.  I texted some male clients.  2 of them in their 20’s and very GQ, a couple married men, my best male friend. Then I posted on Facebook which should be everyone’s decision making guide.  (what??).  I expected this:  “Long, blonde hair is sexy.  It’s your identity.  All models have long hair.  Don’t change.  I have fantasies about your hair.”  Well, sort of that’s what I expected.  What did I hear?  “DO IT!  That’s so brave!  Short hair is so sexy!  You’d look great!  Worst case, you grow it!  I can’t wait to see it!  I wish I had the guts!”  Seriously? I googled pictures of women I admire and think are totally hot other than Pink.

With a sick stomach, one of my coworkers who’s an amazing hairdresser sat me in her chair….

But it wasn’t THERE yet…..  I’m more of a “go big or go home” girl.  It was too puffy, too long to be spiky with, not quite right….  So I texted my hairdresser colleague and told her.  “We need to go shorter.”  I was booked for the next day.  At this point I was ready.  No fear, no trepidation.  It IS just hair.  It WILL grow.  I AM brave. And I couldn’t wait until that appointment.

My 14 year old son,Taylor (who is a stud in his own right) told me I looked like Mystique from XMen except not with red hair.  Holy.  Cow.

Also, one of my besties from my running team – Melissa – wrote that she chopped her hair.  “I feel amazing and so damn sexy now.  I think I even seem more confident!  It’s amazing! It’s as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders.  Best decision I have made in years.  And girl, you have the same attitude as I do.  Sassy and you know it!”.  We exchanged the picture we went off of and it was the same picture.  We’re probably twins from another mother.

I became even more brave.  I was actually excited.  Think of how much more aerodynamic I’ll be running!!!